LIFE AFTER 25

On Tuesday I turned 28, another year older and another 365 pages in the book. The big 3 0 is slowly looming and it's got me thinking about how much I've changed over the last 10 years or so.

In my early 20's I was a bit of a nightmare, I didn't really know who I was or what I wanted in life and made a lot of bad decisions because of it. Up until the age of 25 I felt pressured to have everything worked out and if I didn't I'd be a failure, which was hard when all I wanted to do was spend my money on clothes or go to Ibiza :) I sometimes wish I knew then what I know now as it would've saved me a lot of tears, but then if I didn't have those tears would I be the same person I am now? Probably not. Mistakes are made for a reason. You see, most people wish they were younger again and at the age of 28 I have only just started thinking about getting older, when I was 21 I thought I'd be young and invincible forever. I can whole-heartedly say if given the chance I wouldn't want to go back. I had a blast when I was younger but I would never want to go through that rollercoaster of emotion again! And even though it would be nice to regain the superpower of astonishingly avoiding any kind of hangover after a night out, I'm totally OK with getting older. I know who I am now more than I ever have before, I know what I want and what I don't, where I'm heading in life and who I want by my side for it. I'm learning new things about myself every day and I love it. I used to want to change who I was but now I just want to improve the person that I am, there's a huge difference in that statement. As I've grown older I've learnt to appreciate the simpler things in life, like a cosy home, a wholesome meal, belly laughing with family or friends and binge-watching Netflix on a Sunday with my other half.

I went to Australia when I was 23 in the hope of some kind of revelation, yes I wanted to travel a beautiful place but there was definitely a sense of 'running away' deep down. I don't really know what I was looking for but whatever it was I didn't find it. What it did teach me is that true happiness is not exterior. It doesn't matter if you're sat on a blazing hot Bondi Beach or looking out from the window of your living room on a rainy day in England, if you're still on your path to self-discovery get ready for the ride and buckle yourself in because this shit takes time. True happiness is loving yourself, and I don't mean loving yourself when you lose a few pounds, or when you change your hair colour, or when you find 'the one'.... they are all 'goal posts' and you'll never be truly happy if you only give yourself permission to be when you meet these goals, you will forever be chasing the next thing. It doesn't matter if you're not where you want to be yet. Love yourself now. Fall in love with all your fails, quirks and character traits because its what makes you so damn special and makes your life completely unique to you, your story. 

 Who and where you are in your life is exactly where you are supposed to be right now, if you feel like you should have it all worked out please believe me it will fall into place exactly when its supposed to and not a minute before. I'm 28 and I feel like my life is only just beginning and it will probably begin again many more times from now. You're 20's are about falling down and getting back up again, experimenting, being indecisive and spending weekends galivanting with friends. Try different careers, get a qualification in as many different things as you desire and try not to worry too much when the guy you thought was 'the one' breaks your heart. I promise it will be OK.

 So as I delve into the world of 'fist signs of ageing' in Boots, I'm toasting to the last 2 years of my 20's, I'm excited to see what happens next!

Lots of love,
M xx